I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Say something about gay babies.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
