Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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