last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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