At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
