I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Shame - the story of my life.
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