soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize