I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
