He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
