Whod you bang
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
