I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
