do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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