So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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