Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
