wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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