so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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