i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
That accounts for only three of the penises
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
