the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
