Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
