I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
