The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
