FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
handjob tips. give me some.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
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