Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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