i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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