two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
