you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
