They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
