Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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