Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize