wat bout pragnant strippers??
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just found a bag of teeth...
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
