Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
