Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
