The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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