come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
