I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
