Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
where am i from again
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
