Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
