So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Randomize
