I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
