I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize