____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize