I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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