I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize