He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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