they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
