Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
