We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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