he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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