I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
