Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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