My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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