i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
