Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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