So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
