Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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