I think I am morally bankrupt
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
