we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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