That's intense
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
