Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize