Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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