Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
