is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
