What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
