yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
