Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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