I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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