Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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